Poetry: A Fake Author's Perspective of Control

A poem I wrote about what can happen
when we play the Author of our lives.

“Surrender”

I had displayed a fancy smile for all to see,
Flashed a bright lie like a red marquee.
I had controlled the pages of my own story,
Then shed tears when it controlled me.

Iron grip wrapped around my pen and my pain,
Flashes of lightening in my heart again.
I wanted life with no one but me to blame,
But I trod down a path of resentment and shame.

But as the pen fell from my ice cold hand,
My broken pride fell like rapid quick sand.
Time for pride to fall and surrender to stand,
And not expect life to go as I had planned.

Then I watched words I had written fade,
Disappear from the storyline I had made.
I threw off a character I had miserably played,
An Author of Life was what I had portrayed.

Then a Hand wrapped around the pen tight,
And began to write new things in my sight.
I was no author, and surrendered the fight,
As the true Author took over in all might.

Pressure Points and Delete Buttons

Sometimes when we go through life, we "rediscover" things from our past. We're moving right along, then a memory triggers a pressure point in the emotional mind or we run into that person that cut your heart into pieces. You get the idea.

This is where we make a choice. What do we do when those pressure points come?

You know what hurts? It's when the time comes to deal with those pressure points dead on. Somehow, even when we try to hide from them or outrun them, they find a way to catch up with us, and we're forced to choose to deal with them or keep running from them. Sometimes, we even store the hurt in the deep places, but refuse to deal with it out in the open.

I will use a personal example. I just found an old copy of a long message that had been stored in my computer that was sent to someone in response to a hurtful encounter (an encounter that turned into a painful time of my life at that time). I had kept it, just because... maybe I thought someday I would need it to defend my cause. Maybe I thought I needed it just lying around. Whatever the reason, I knew one thing when I found it tonight after it's been sitting there all this time. It did not need to be in my possession anymore. I feel like that hurt was wiped away long ago, and I needed to get rid of the rest of it. I did not need a written account of that old hurt, so delete was a good button to push.

I know when I have asked God to heal me of past hurts, I know He has wrapped His arms around me... but when it comes down to cleaning up the mess the situations have caused, He helps, but sometimes He nudges me to make the first move. The delete button. And you know what was cool about deleting that old copy of hurt? It felt so good to get rid of it! Erased. Gone. Nada. Not that the hurt didn't happen, but I had erased the file that was stored. The written account was no longer in existence. It just made me realize if we put more effort into getting rid of the extra files that we store in our life computers, we would stop storing those things away and start dealing with hurts dead on. The cool part about deleting unwanted files in a computer is the obvious: it frees up more room in the computer's hard drive. Humans are very much so like this, too. Sometimes, we need to clean up the unwanted to leave more room for the new things the Lord is doing.

So when it comes to those stored files on our life computers that represent hurt, baggage, and bonds that keep us from being completely set free... Keep them, or hit delete?

"When God Says No"...

That was the topic of last Sunday's message at church. What do we do when God's answer to our prayers is no? Do we give up on Him? Do we give up on praying? Do we base our faith on our circumstances?

We all can relate to what seems like unanswered prayers. It hurts. It bends us in a way we don't like to be bent. I know what I've asked God for many times has not come through. The answer was no, and in some of those circumstances I see the reason why. I know if the answer was yes from God, I would have gotten hurt or my life would look very different now... For that reason, I am so thankful He answered no to my prayers... But some things that He's said no to I still don't see the reason behind. Maybe I will someday, maybe not. But I know I can rest in that. I had a conversation with a friend this week about Hebrews 6:19. "This hope we have as an anchor of the soul, a hope both sure and steadfast and one which enters within the veil..."

So no matter what the answer is to our prayers, one thing never changes: we have an anchor in Him, a steady hope that we can cling to even in our hurts and uncertainties. I desperately need that anchor.

Not So Tame...

I have always been drawn to lions. I have always loved their strength and the depth that is in their eyes. They are leaders.

The following picture reflects my soul. Even as a child, I was fascinated with the concept of peacefully living on the edge. This photo also reminds me of my relationship with my King, my God who is the Lion of Judah. In the picture, the woman looks so peaceful and at ease with the lion. A risky scenario, but she knows she is safe. It reminds me of how as followers of Christ we are so often called to step out of our comfort zones to follow where He is taking us. It may be risky sometimes, but we know that He works all for the good of those who love Him. He is a powerful, untamed Lion, but He is loving and we can rest in Him.

Snow Weekend!!!

This past weekend, we had some interesting weather. It's rare for the South to experience snow and ice like that. So what did I do? My friends Brock and Auny Gill decided to have a snow party at their house, so a group of us got snowed in for the weekend! The weather made travel rough, and it took us over almost 3 hours to drive what is normally a 20 minute drive from my house to theirs. It was so worth it, though. Movies, warm fires, laughter, and sledding on cold days is amazing!






Okay... so maybe we weren't totally snowed in because we got out in the big truck to go eat one day. But still, it was intense weather. Very fun.

Words of Wisdom...

I get these emails called the Daily Verse, and I got one that really struck me a few days ago. It goes so well with what God has been teaching me and what I've been writing about, so I had to post it. Here it is in the following:

For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.
Galatians 5:1

Many of us don't know how to live without our chains that have bound us for so long. However, Christ did not set you free, just so that you could turn around and be bound up again. Consider the areas of your life where He has illuminated potential for freedom, and step in that direction. It may not be easy, but neither were His efforts toward making your freedom possible, so let us not live as though they were in vain.