Our Deepest Heart's Cry

I have been pondering the issues of the heart a lot over the past few months, and I have had many conversations with loved ones and even strangers about heart issues lately. It's amazing how what is on our minds is brought up multiple times by other people, and it is continued as I am approaching the end of the book Journey of Desire by John Eldridge. 


There is a simple truth we so often avoid: we were created for joy and were given hearts to feel and desire. We avoid this because it's not always "safe" to admit that. We associate desire with "worldly things"... yet this is faulty thinking. It's what we do with desire that turns it from Holy to unholy. The Creator gives us our hearts and puts desire in our hearts. John Eldridge even points out in Chapter 10 of Journey of Desire page 169, "As a rule, most of us live far from our hearts. We need to be much more acquainted with them. We need to know what we want." 


Desire is not a bad thing... Where we get in trouble is trying to find fulfillment of our desires on things of this world. We ultimately desire Him deeply, yet we desperately grab for other things besides Him to fulfill that desire. He is the one our hearts are yearning for, and it's a deep, deep yearning. He instilled in us a desire for joy and we run around sometimes like mice in a maze trying to find something in which we can fulfill that desire... yet outside of Him, the heart honestly can not find it. Addictions, sex, money, power, approval--- the heart not find complete fulfillment there... Even the best and most fervent loves we share with people won't fulfill it completely, and He wants us to love others. He delights in the love between a man and a woman, since He created it for our joy. Yet while still good and holy, and even symbolic of the picture of Christ and His bride (us), love between a man and a woman still can't replace the ultimate need of our hearts... So then what? God wants our attention. He knows that's what our hearts need most, to pay attention to Him.


"When we don't look for God as our true life, our desire for Him spills over into our other desires, giving them an ultimacy and urgency they were never intended to bear. We become desperate, grasping and arranging and worrying over all kinds of things, and once we get them, they end up ruling us. It's the difference between wants and needs. All we truly need is God."... -John Eldridge, Journey of Desire in Chapter 10, page 176


What does this mean? The fact is: our hearts desire. What are we really wanting, past the surface? Him... God knows this and tells us to guard our hearts. It's not to keep our hearts from feeling fun, happiness, and joy--- guarding our hearts means being mindful of things that will destroy our hearts and keep us from living how we were created. Let us guard our hearts so our hearts can love better, deeper. We need to flee from sin and pour into Grace. When the world fails us, when things fail us, when people hurt us, when the things we chase after fail us, hurt us, and leave us unsatisfied, let's follow our deep heart cries to Him. He calls us to align ourselves with Him, and in Him, let the rest of our desires He has given us to fall into their proper place. Then we are called to go out into the world to tell others about the Love we know. Many people need to know about this love offered. People who don't know God desire, too... They need to know what they desire, deep down. 


So my friends... what do you desire? 


(By the way, everyone should read this book by John Eldridge....)

The Root of Indecisiveness

I recently took a personality test and scored very low in the area of Decisiveness, the ability to make decisions. As I thought of this, I realized how often I mule over and over-think things when I have to make a tough choice. I over-analize, second-guess, critique my decision in the end.

Why do I do this?

As I asked myself this, I realized the root of this problem. It's that little monster deep inside me that makes himself known in little ways, yet still he digs his claws enough to be noticed. The Fear monster... Dang it! As I thought I was getting rid of him, I realize he still lives in there, in my heart still safe in his little comfy home. I imagine he's probably soaking in his hot tub now, the little dufus, sipping on champagne, not knowing what's coming next for him. I'm going to make the next few weeks a bumpy ride for him in there. I want him out.

What would life look like if we could live completely without fear? For me, I know I could make decisions faster if I wasn't afraid of the outcome. When faced with a choice, I think, "What if I make the wrong move?" Okay. So what if? What if? What if?... My mistake will add an imperfection, yet I can trust it will be used somehow in my story for the better. I'm learning to say this when faced with a tough choice, "Muscle past Fear, go with the gut, and don't look back."

Perfect Love casts out Fear...

"Where Strength dwells, Fear cannot abide."
This is something God and I have talked through so many times. He is weeding it out of my life. When God uproots deep things from our hearts, it hurts, yet the outcome is more beautiful than we can imagine. I know this is worth it. Already I can see the outcome. He is making me more whole, He is making me stronger, more courageous. I pray for courage. I pray for courage for others. It is key to freedom.