I have danced since I was really little, and it's been a passion that has dedicated me to the studio ever since. Dance studios have become ever so familiar, as they do for all dancers. The familiar barre, the floor, the mirrors that nobody likes because they always feel to big. (oy vey!) The familiar plie, jete, grand allegro...
Like it does for many who make this a lifestyle, dance in general has become very familiar... However, with me and my adventurous spirit, I get easily bored with familiar. So what do you do when you get bored with what you have dedicated so much time to and still love?
Before answering that question, I'm going to state my opinion. Becoming bored with the familiar is not a bad thing: I think it's a process many go through before the beginning of something. Like for me, it has challenged me to do something about it by thinking bigger! By thinking bigger I'm in the process of re-shaping a few things about my dance lifestyle. I'm going to get unfamiliar. Build something new: combine something. Do something strange and unexpected. Use resources and pull together different things to create a new style.
What are your thoughts? Have you ever become bored with the familiarity of your art form? Have you ever experienced boredom that in the end broke you out of a box into something fresh and new?
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Tell-Tale Sign Of A Church: The Women's Bathroom?
Let me state my case. Maybe the title made you curious and maybe you think I'm crazy at this point, but read on. Because of the lifestyle I had growing up, I saw many churches and many types of churches. I performed in several and also traveled with my dad a bit (he's a speaker/evangelist). Maybe you have seen many churches, too. If so, you probably know this: after a while, you start feeling a vibe, and can quickly come to conclusions about each church. Some ways to do this are obvious, others aren't. But I have discovered one way that is a bit unorthodox. If you are a woman or girl, you will probably understand this. See if you can find yourself in this scenario:
You're new to a church, or just visiting for your first time, and after being welcomed by greeters, you realize you have to go. You find the women's bathroom, being sure not to go into the wrong one (you know, still trying to make a good impression or whatever), and if it's a larger church, you might wait in line... This is where it can happen. Once you have entered into this room, the stares and glances turn your direction. You immediately feel like an outsider when you felt fine out in the church hallway. Now that you're in here, you feel like Daniel in the lion's den. Your eyes scan the room as you begin to understand the situation around you. Women come out of stalls, and with down-cast eyes, turn to the sink to wash their hands and fix their hair/makeup. They might check out the woman next to them... you know, to make sure she is either not a threat, or if she is, to search for something wrong with her (especially true in single groups, because that girl might have her eye on a certain dude running around in the hall outside)... They might check out what you're wearing. You're not feeling welcomed, but you feel strange being in a closed room without speaking to someone, so you turn to the girl next to you and say something funny as you laugh, hoping it's an ice-breaker... she just glares at you and scoffs loftily. You've been shut down, and are thankful when the next stall opens and fly into it: the sooner you can get out of here, the better.
Does this scene sound familiar to you? While it's a bit comical, this scenario was not made up: it happened to me at a large church in my hometown. Actually, I have found this scenario true in many churches unfortunately. The church might seem cool, but I say you don't really know a church until you walk into the women's bathroom and find out how you're treated. Sometimes, you really can tell a church by the way the women's bathroom scenario plays out. If you're treated well and not snubbed to death like you're the dead mouse that cat just drug in, then perhaps that's a good sign the church is friendly and emotionally safe.... and well, if you feel like an outsider of a club and/or feel like the icy stares make Antarctica seem warm, it's a pretty good guess you've walked into an unfriendly, perhaps emotionally unsafe church.
My question is: why do women feel like they can be catty and it not be wrong? Even at church? A woman can be so rude in the women's bathroom and go out and lead worship with a God-honoring smile on her face... Huh? I have a really hard time with this. It confuses me, and frankly, this is another reason why I have seen so many churches because once I see something like this, I usually move on quickly. Many churches are just not friendly, and I have a hard time staying in a place that makes me feel like I'm in a danger-zone just for existing. This has happened to me on many occasions, but I'm not new to the church scene. I can just imagine how a new-comer into the whole church scene feels when this happens. It's confusing because they see hypocrisy. Isn't church supposed to be better than this? Yes. Isn't the body of believers in the Church supposed to love each other? Yes. Is the women's bathroom at church the best place to make friends? Probably not because that's a bit awkward, but come on---at least we can be nice. In all seriousness, when women are shut off in their own room, away from the men, sometimes their true colors come out. What color do we want to show? What color do we want to show the searching new-comer? What color do we want to show each other? Do we show that we are cold and and threatening, or warm and loving? With the rest of society and the world watching what we do, we must be more careful how our actions carry out. People notice little things, and little things can change minds forever.
So one thing we can all know from this: the women's bathroom just might be what's hurting your church, or someone else. Something to consider...
You're new to a church, or just visiting for your first time, and after being welcomed by greeters, you realize you have to go. You find the women's bathroom, being sure not to go into the wrong one (you know, still trying to make a good impression or whatever), and if it's a larger church, you might wait in line... This is where it can happen. Once you have entered into this room, the stares and glances turn your direction. You immediately feel like an outsider when you felt fine out in the church hallway. Now that you're in here, you feel like Daniel in the lion's den. Your eyes scan the room as you begin to understand the situation around you. Women come out of stalls, and with down-cast eyes, turn to the sink to wash their hands and fix their hair/makeup. They might check out the woman next to them... you know, to make sure she is either not a threat, or if she is, to search for something wrong with her (especially true in single groups, because that girl might have her eye on a certain dude running around in the hall outside)... They might check out what you're wearing. You're not feeling welcomed, but you feel strange being in a closed room without speaking to someone, so you turn to the girl next to you and say something funny as you laugh, hoping it's an ice-breaker... she just glares at you and scoffs loftily. You've been shut down, and are thankful when the next stall opens and fly into it: the sooner you can get out of here, the better.
Does this scene sound familiar to you? While it's a bit comical, this scenario was not made up: it happened to me at a large church in my hometown. Actually, I have found this scenario true in many churches unfortunately. The church might seem cool, but I say you don't really know a church until you walk into the women's bathroom and find out how you're treated. Sometimes, you really can tell a church by the way the women's bathroom scenario plays out. If you're treated well and not snubbed to death like you're the dead mouse that cat just drug in, then perhaps that's a good sign the church is friendly and emotionally safe.... and well, if you feel like an outsider of a club and/or feel like the icy stares make Antarctica seem warm, it's a pretty good guess you've walked into an unfriendly, perhaps emotionally unsafe church.
My question is: why do women feel like they can be catty and it not be wrong? Even at church? A woman can be so rude in the women's bathroom and go out and lead worship with a God-honoring smile on her face... Huh? I have a really hard time with this. It confuses me, and frankly, this is another reason why I have seen so many churches because once I see something like this, I usually move on quickly. Many churches are just not friendly, and I have a hard time staying in a place that makes me feel like I'm in a danger-zone just for existing. This has happened to me on many occasions, but I'm not new to the church scene. I can just imagine how a new-comer into the whole church scene feels when this happens. It's confusing because they see hypocrisy. Isn't church supposed to be better than this? Yes. Isn't the body of believers in the Church supposed to love each other? Yes. Is the women's bathroom at church the best place to make friends? Probably not because that's a bit awkward, but come on---at least we can be nice. In all seriousness, when women are shut off in their own room, away from the men, sometimes their true colors come out. What color do we want to show? What color do we want to show the searching new-comer? What color do we want to show each other? Do we show that we are cold and and threatening, or warm and loving? With the rest of society and the world watching what we do, we must be more careful how our actions carry out. People notice little things, and little things can change minds forever.
So one thing we can all know from this: the women's bathroom just might be what's hurting your church, or someone else. Something to consider...
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
When You Get Stuck... Be Proactive, Not Reactive.
I have been learning and having many conversations with others lately about not settling in bad circumstances that surround you. If you are unhappy with a current situation, you don't always have to be a victim, and for sure don't look in the rear-view mirror at the bad things in the past to keep you frozen in the present. There was a time when I was so frozen in time by looking in the rear-view mirror that I stopped looking in the direction I was headed. This stalled me, paralyzing me from making decisions and even put me in great depression. I was not taking action; I was merely sitting in my misery, waiting for life to happen to me. I would cry out to God and ask Him to bring things to me... what I was failing to do is get out there and discover things that could be potential doors He was opening! Then I became angry enough at myself and at my current situation, I knew I had to do something and though I had asked the Lord many times to remove the hurt and the thorns I was still feeling, I couldn't feel any relief... then I felt Him encouraging me to take a leap of faith and DO something myself, and He would help me with the rest. It wasn't easy, but that's when my life took a turn: I went from REACTIVE to my past and current situations to PROACTIVE. I decided what I wanted and went for it.
That's when I learned something. Sometimes the answer is just a matter of getting up from the spot you're in and just moving a few feet away from it, figuratively. Many times, we beg God to take care of our problems for us. While we can still ask Him for His help (and that we should absolutely do), sometimes He wants us to take a step on our own. It's a leap of faith so we can trust Him for what He can do. The beauty in this is He made us as individuals with choices to find our paths and I believe He likes to see us use the gifts He's given to us to take care of ourselves. It's a matter of responsibility and constructive behavior. If we stay stuck in the mud, we can hurt ourselves even more. Here is what I read recently in an email I receive once a day called "The Daily Verse":
"No one sews a piece of unshrunk cloth on an old garment. If he does, the patch tears away from it, the new from the old, and a worse tear is made." ~Mark 2:21
Sometimes you just have to let go of yesterday and focus on today and what's ahead. If you're trying to make the patterns of the past work with the present, consider that incorporating new material might require new methodology so that you don't do substantial damage.
My point exactly. Don't settle, and no rear-view mirrors to keep you stuck, please. And strategy in life is key. Ask Him to help you with strategy in your life's direction. Where do you want to go and how do you get there? Now let's go out there and create our lives. :)
That's when I learned something. Sometimes the answer is just a matter of getting up from the spot you're in and just moving a few feet away from it, figuratively. Many times, we beg God to take care of our problems for us. While we can still ask Him for His help (and that we should absolutely do), sometimes He wants us to take a step on our own. It's a leap of faith so we can trust Him for what He can do. The beauty in this is He made us as individuals with choices to find our paths and I believe He likes to see us use the gifts He's given to us to take care of ourselves. It's a matter of responsibility and constructive behavior. If we stay stuck in the mud, we can hurt ourselves even more. Here is what I read recently in an email I receive once a day called "The Daily Verse":
"No one sews a piece of unshrunk cloth on an old garment. If he does, the patch tears away from it, the new from the old, and a worse tear is made." ~Mark 2:21
Sometimes you just have to let go of yesterday and focus on today and what's ahead. If you're trying to make the patterns of the past work with the present, consider that incorporating new material might require new methodology so that you don't do substantial damage.
My point exactly. Don't settle, and no rear-view mirrors to keep you stuck, please. And strategy in life is key. Ask Him to help you with strategy in your life's direction. Where do you want to go and how do you get there? Now let's go out there and create our lives. :)
Monday, July 5, 2010
A Scare in Nashville and Illusion In Fort Walton
A phone call or text can change things fast. I was on a mini vacation visiting my aunt and uncle with my friend Sherri, hanging out on the lake when I got bad news by text: my friend Auny Gill had been put in the hospital because she kept passing out and needed a blood transfusion. I can remember thinking, "What?! Auny?" Suddenly, I became very scared. I began praying for her.... As I was asked to pray, I was also asked something else: if I was available to travel as an illusionist's assistant for the next two weeks.
Let me explain. Auny was put in the hospital the same weekend she and her husband and my friend Brock Gill were supposed to leave for Fort Walton. Brock is a Christian illusionist and Auny is his stage assistant. Each year, they perform at SuperWOW in Fort Walton, and they were getting ready to leave when Auny became really sick. Brock and John (Brock's road manager) asked me if I was available to travel to help on stage and off for a couple weeks, and I quickly got on the phone with my director at Tennessee Dance Arts Conservatory. I told her the emergency, and my director Megan, being as cool as she is, let me take two weeks off teaching to help my friends out. I hopped in the car and drove home quickly to prepare for the trip... Brock, John, and I hit the road to Florida the next day, and it felt so weird leaving Auny behind.
So within 24 hours, I was helping in illusion, which as much as I love magic, I couldn't complain... plus it was on the beach.... but I was just worried about my friend Auny back in Nashville. A few days later, our friends Jacob and Kayla came down and brought Auny, who'd been released from the hospital after the transfusion and testing. Now that she was with us, we felt a great relief, and she was able to rest and regain strength. She found out she was anemic and needed iron in her body. We went to get red meat often, which meant several trips to McGuire's, an amazing Irish Pub with the world's most amazing burgers (and I'm pretty picky about burgers)... Within a few days, she was doing so much better, thankfully.
Let me explain. Auny was put in the hospital the same weekend she and her husband and my friend Brock Gill were supposed to leave for Fort Walton. Brock is a Christian illusionist and Auny is his stage assistant. Each year, they perform at SuperWOW in Fort Walton, and they were getting ready to leave when Auny became really sick. Brock and John (Brock's road manager) asked me if I was available to travel to help on stage and off for a couple weeks, and I quickly got on the phone with my director at Tennessee Dance Arts Conservatory. I told her the emergency, and my director Megan, being as cool as she is, let me take two weeks off teaching to help my friends out. I hopped in the car and drove home quickly to prepare for the trip... Brock, John, and I hit the road to Florida the next day, and it felt so weird leaving Auny behind.
So within 24 hours, I was helping in illusion, which as much as I love magic, I couldn't complain... plus it was on the beach.... but I was just worried about my friend Auny back in Nashville. A few days later, our friends Jacob and Kayla came down and brought Auny, who'd been released from the hospital after the transfusion and testing. Now that she was with us, we felt a great relief, and she was able to rest and regain strength. She found out she was anemic and needed iron in her body. We went to get red meat often, which meant several trips to McGuire's, an amazing Irish Pub with the world's most amazing burgers (and I'm pretty picky about burgers)... Within a few days, she was doing so much better, thankfully.
I love illusion, and absolutely loved working with them. They are amazing people, and there is something about the mystery of magic that sparks the imagination, and it was cool learning from friends while in Florida! It began with a scare, but I feel like the Lord taught me some valuable lessons those two weeks. What is even better, the other day Auny told me her iron levels are miraculously normal now.
Something else interesting about being in Fort Walton during this time was the oil crisis of 2010 was happening while we were there. We hit the beach nearly every day during our off time... we saw some oil "droplets", if you will, but nothing drastic in Fort Walton and Destin. We got lucky, I suppose, and crews would clean up the oil that was washed ashore at night so we could still enjoy the beaches during the day.
Something else interesting about being in Fort Walton during this time was the oil crisis of 2010 was happening while we were there. We hit the beach nearly every day during our off time... we saw some oil "droplets", if you will, but nothing drastic in Fort Walton and Destin. We got lucky, I suppose, and crews would clean up the oil that was washed ashore at night so we could still enjoy the beaches during the day.
Below are a few pictures from the trip.
Us at Marina Cafe
Us taking chill time at the bridge
Me and Auny at Crab Island on the weekend
Ok. Here John was picking on me and I was trying to keep him in check. Brock and Auny call us brother and sister.
Me getting ready to go on stage to do an illusion with Brock... I didn't look like this exactly. I had a red wig on over all this.
At McGuire's, Jacob was required to kiss the moose for his birthday.
Brock presenting magic for some fans.
One night, this insane storm came up. We pulled on the side of the road to watch. Here Brock, Auny, and John look on at the swirling clouds.
Brock speaking at SuperWOW
We ate watermelon on the beach on our last day.
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