Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if we walked around and just blurted out everything that was on our minds. It would mean there would be little secrets and everyone would know where they stood with each other. It would mean employees and employers would be more open with each other. It would mean the guy simply tells the girl he likes her, or vise versa. And it would mean you tell Aunt Barbara you haven't worn the Christmas sweater she gave you because you hate wearing Santa's face across your chest as a grown adult....
AND... we probably wouldn't have many friends. So, we can't blurt everything out. One can be too honest, after all. Yet, we shouldn't be afraid to speak our minds, right? How do we know where to draw the boundary?
There needs to be a balance. I have noticed that I don't say what is on my mind nearly enough, and it's something I am making a goal to change. But I don't want to go so far that I become offensive to others. I think manners is the sealer of honesty. If it is rude to say it, I should refrain, unless my opinion has been asked. For example, I was asked the other day by a guy friend for my "fashion opinion" of what he was wearing, and I had to be honest in saying his shoes weren't working out well. This wasn't offensive: why? Because I had been asked, and I answered in diplomacy, or what was my best attempt at diplomacy. Sometimes we get too honest for the sake of being honest, when we should still put ourselves in the other person's shoes. (No pun intended.) It's a delicated balance of saying the truth, but keeping manners.
So how do we do this? I think it's a matter of saying truth in the other person's best interest. It's just loving people well and showing respect. What would it mean to say the truth with the other person's best interest? I think it would mean more clarity in all relationships. If honesty came out of the other's best interest, guys and girls would know whether they are dating as in a romantic relationship, or if they are friends who enjoy each other's company. Employers and employees would be communicating clearer if they have been honest for the other's best interest. Maybe the boss needs to say the employee isn't executing properly, or the employee needs to ask for a Saturday off. (I realize those were lame examples, but I'm just typing mere ideas.) And Aunt Barbara---Hmmm Aunt Barbara... well, I'm not sure how Aunt Barbara should be told the sweater she gave you is tacky. (Maybe you should not say anything at all? Again, I'm not claiming to be any expert. ha!)
To sum this up, before blurting out the truth or holding the truth back completely out of fear of embarrassing or hurting someone or yourself, remember this one line:
"Speak the truth in love." ~Ephesians 4:5
Sums it up well, I'd say.
This is a good word, and Ephesians 4:5 is always good to keep in mind. Many use the truth as a tool of destruction to bring people low. It is somewhat convicting for me. Those who know me well know that I often talk and think in real time. That is I am considering my words as I say them. This often leads me to a bad case of foot-in-mouth disease. It has lead to me hurting others unintentionally. In speaking, we (I) need to practice the discipline of taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ (II Corinthians 10:5), consider our words and the intention of our hearts. Ephesians 4:29 says "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." This should be the purpose of every word.
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