Saturday, July 9, 2011

17 Ways to Ruin Relationships

Let's face it: there are some basic rules needing to be practiced to protect relationships, or help get them off on the right track before they even start. I've seen a lot of social awkwardness, drama, and rudeness. (I'm weirded out by it.)  Here are my thoughts and pet peeves about 17 deadly social sins and how to ruin relationships. Note: different types of relationships are mentioned below. They range from dating/male and female interactions, friendships, professional work place, and everyday social situations.

1.) Facebook and Twitter are social websites. Yes, they are useful, but please... please don't use them to arrange a meeting time with friends or, if you're single, ask someone on a date/communicate an interest. We still have phones for those things and they work much better. (Except, good grief... if you're using a phone, please don't ask someone on a date by a text. Use your voice to let them know what you're made out of.) We loose that personal touch that says "I care about you" when we ditch phones and make messaging on a social network site our biggest communication. So you don't have their number? Easy solution: get it! 

2.) Never use someone for your advantage without making sure they benefit, too.... Obviously, using them makes them angry. (Then you wonder why they don't want to be around you anymore?)

3.) You like someone or are in love, but you can't seem to get their attention... Never flirt with another to make them jealous. That's not attractive, it doesn't always work, and can even backfire on you.

4.) Look people in the eye. If you don't, they'll wonder what you're hiding or if you're too aloof to care.

5.) Don't constantly check your phone when you're with people. That body language translates: "I'm not fully interested in being here right now with you".... (Duh)

6.) Hey, Guys! A lot of girls still want to be pursued, no matter what the Women's Movement taught years ago. You need to go get her. (We like that. It goes back to the Knight and Shining Armor thing.) And if she still says "no", and you're a decent guy? Don't be defeated. There's a lot of women out there. Go find the one that will say "yes". I hear way too many single, nice girls complaining that no one asks them out. "Is he scared?" they ask..................................... (Well, are you?)

7.) Hey, Girls! Stop trying to be the guy in the relationship. Let him be the leader. When he offers to do something nice for you, thank him for being a gentleman and don't stomp on him thinking you're too independent for his help. You're not being cute: you're acting dumb.

8.) If you're going to work with friends in business, make sure you understand where money comes in.  Don't take advantage of a good-natured friendship. Too many friendships are ruined over "business", and that's just sad.

9.) Never un-invite "Betty" (we'll call the unnamed person that) to a party saying that plans are cancelled because their ex/someone that makes her feel uncomfortable will be there and you gather with the others behind Betty's back. That just makes you a jerk and weird... Believe it or not, I've seen adults do this, sadly. And it doesn't protect Betty's feelings: it causes more problems. 

10.) You're an employer: don't fire an employee because of a bad attitude when you have a bad attitude yourself. Can you say "hypocrite"?

11.) Dudes, be dudes. Girls, be girls. It works better that way. 

12.) Getting drunk is not attractive. 

13.) Don't expect people to give more than you're giving yourself... Also, don't dominate all conversations. People will think you're struck on yourself and will get annoyed. Share the table.

14.) Fads come and go, and times change, but ethics should never go out of style. Consider what you do, and how you're coming across. Body language is louder than actual words. What's your body saying?

15.) Don't assume invading another's personal space is always welcome.................

16.) Girls: this isn't 5th grade anymore. We're adults, and sly, jealousy-driven actions don't work. If your insecurity affects how you treat others, you're going to be alone. Simple as that.

17.) Someone wronged you: forgive. Staying mad at them creates awkward turtle and doesn't prove anything except your own bitterness. Free yourself from that prison.

Know anyone that fits into these? Do you fit into these? No one is perfect... I'm not perfect, but we have to try harder to not bum around. Use common sense. God gave us all brains: we need to use them.

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